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The story so far … MERINOCA, formerly JD Clodhopper Contracting, has become the maintenance partner with Middle Tetley County Borough Council (MTCBC). Since it was the only bidder with local offices and helped write the OJEC advert, it was a cinch. It's now six months down the line and Nigel Ian Eve, the boss at MTCBC, is looking forward to early retirement. Sam Alesman has taken over at MERINOCA following a management buy-out and aims to develop his partnering business, which seems a runaway success. So is everyone on the good ship Partnering happy, or are there rumblings below deck? Let's open the hatch and take a look…

Internal Mail MTCBC
From: dbody/a manager
To: nieve/the boss

Nigel, we've got a problem with MERINOCA and our ex-staff. The tenant surveys are in and show a drop in satisfaction, and the ex-DLO staff are complaining they have to carry pagers and report their locations after each job. One of the brickies told me it's like an episode of ER at the Asda breakfast counter.

Internal Mail MTCBC
From: nieve/the boss
To: dbody/a manager

Dave, those tenants are never happy no matter what you do, and there's bound to be a settling-in period. MERINOCA seems to run a tight ship as far as I can see and those brickies got away with murder for years. I'll contact them and give them a shot across the bows.

External Mail MTCBC
From: nieve/the boss
To: salesman/MERINOCA

Sam, how are things coming on with that special consultant's post we were talking about? If it looks likely I'll try and push through early retirement so I could be available pretty quickly. By the way, the first tenants' feedback sheets are a little disappointing. I suppose it's just teething problems. It can't be easy for you having to work with our old staff and all those useless subbies. My idea about pagers for the brickies is working out OK, though.

External Mail MERINOCA
From: salesman/the new boss
To: nieve/MTCBC

Nigel, we look forward to having you on board. Those tenant surveys must be a pain to conduct, what with your trimmed-down staff. Why don't you let us do them and I'm sure you'll see a great improvement in results. Yes, your idea for the brickies was great. We always know where they are now and three of your old guys left this week! We're extending it to all the surveyors, so soon everyone will be hand-picked. Then you'll see some real efficiency gains.

External Mail MTCBC
From: nieve/the boss
To: salesman/MERINOCA

Sam, that's great news. I'll let the wife know straight away and get the old retirement ball rolling. Your offer to monitor the tenant surveys is much appreciated; I don't know why we didn't think of it before. When those results pick up it should look pretty good on the old benchmark thing we have to complete. If we hadn't found a great company like yours I would have been sleeping on a bloody bench never mind marking one!

Internal Mail MTCBC
From: nieve/the boss
To: dbody/a manager

Dave, good news. MERINOCA is going to sort out those tenant feedback sheets so we should smooth out the satisfaction drop-off. On a sadder note I'm thinking of early retirement, and since it's only you, me and the trainee left here you should be in line for a promotion.

Internal Mail MTCBC
From: dbody/a manager
To: nboy/trainee surveyor

Norman, looks like you're going to be the new boss. Eve is jumping ship and I wouldn't be surprised if he goes to work for that MERONICA bunch. That college you go to, do they do any landscape design courses? I've had enough of all this rubbish.

And there we have it. An ordinary tale of partnering folk ends happily ever after. Nigel sails off into the sunset with MERINOCA as the Jolly Roger flaps from the yardarm. The old environmental services department is as quiet as the Mary Celeste, since everyone has either walked the gangplank or gone overboard. Below decks the crew are rowing furiously to keep the ship afloat while all around the sharks circle the dying hulk of public services. Never fear, the paperwork is good and the benchmarking is working a treat. Just remember as you swig your rum that there are lies, damn lies and statistics.