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A former chef since employed as a security guard by a diamond merchants in this jewellery-mad enclave decided he'd make off with some of his client's wares. £5,000,000 worth, to be precise, which he attempted to conceal inside a microwave oven, no less. Once a chef, always a chef...

Anyway, the man arrived for work claiming the cardboard box he was carrying contained a new microwave he'd picked up on the way in. It did – the only problem being he locked said oven in the safe and filled the box with gems before fleeing the scene for pastures new.

Benno Leeser, managing director of Gassan Diamonds, is understandably distraught. Meanwhile, Dutch police have launched a hunt for the 'guard' and former Nato soldier, but to no avail. Leeser told your canine companion: "If he sells the diamonds in South America or Russia we'll never see them again. We spent weeks investigating this chap before we employed him back in April. I can't understand it." Not enough weeks, obviously.

Security managers watch out. Diamonds could be your guards' best friend.

Mayhem mars Def Con
Remember last month's tale about the Def Con IT security conference in Las Vegas ('Keep it under your Black Hat', Cerberus, SMT, August 2001)? Well, it seems that scenes of mayhem marred the event.

Proceedings began with Cowhead 2000 – a member of the hacking group known as 'World of Hell' – being ejected from the official conference hotel for destroying a payphone.

As if that wasn't bad enough, police then made several arrests when a determined group of hackers tried to incite violence under the premise that the event was becoming "too commercialised". Smoke bombs were set off pool-side, while part of a truck was dumped in the hotel lobby. At least one attendee went home in an ambulance suffering from a drug overdose.

Whoever said that a trip to Las Vegas was a bit of a gamble?

Picking up the tab
A computer executive who ran up £65,000 in a two-year expenses fiddle has received his comeuppance. A 14-month spell behind bars.

Cerberus has learned that 32-year-old Christian Ignat from Mitcham, Surrey began working as a programmer for computer giant ICL back in early 1999. While there, he submitted no less than 330 false expenses claims at an average of 14 per month. Claims for computer games and PCs, in some cases twice over using the same receipts!

Now, where did your ever-faithful friend leave that Visa docket for last month's weekend 'jolly' to Paris? It was all in the name of research. Honest, it was...

The coolest canine in Town
Word has reached our newsdesk that Odin – the London Fire Brigade's arson-detecting black labrador – and his handler Pat Lyon have been given a Vauxhall Astra van by ADT as part of a £20,000 sponsorship package from the fire and security specialist to make sure their journeys around the Capital are much more comfortable.

In 2001 alone, the dynamic duo have been called to investigate more than 70 incidents of suspected arson, but it seems the panting pooch has often been forced to travel in the back of a van without the benefit of air conditioning.

Poor old Odin. Let him try making a deadline for this section of SMT. Forget the fires. That will really make him sweat (Ed's Note: Down, Cerberus. Down, boy).

A Whopper of a sentence
Who'd have thought there'd be anything worth stealing in Burger King (apart from the takings, of course – and maybe the odd flame-grilled burger, but only if you're starving and it hasn't been sitting there for three years)?

Julia Olomu certainly thought there was something in it. As manager of the American chain's Colliers Wood restaurant, she obligingly informed her boyfriend Muhammed Hakeem about the best time to raid the place. Just to help matters along, Olomu made sure she was working when they burst in. A case of keeping up appearances, shall we say.

Alas, the plot was foiled when a cleaner escaped during the raid and raised the alarm. 30-year-old Olomu and Hakeem were convicted of attempted robbery at Blackfriars Crown Court, with Hakeem confined to jail for a seven-and-a-half-year stretch. On his way down to the cells, 38-year-old Hakeem told Cerberus he wasn't relishing the prospect.

One suspects it will not be as bad as having to stomach one of those rancid gherkins you find in a Whopper. Now that's an offence.